Alternate Title: Pretension Wars
by Danny Baird
There’s a beat-up, red SUV that I see every day while I walk to work. Proudly displayed is a bumper sticker that says “Read Infinite Jest.” When I first encountered this text, I read it as the pinnacle of ostentatious pretension: the revelation of an intellectual resumé on the back of a car. Fuck you, dude. I have read many books. You’ve read Infinite Jest? Big whoop. Fuck you.
I hate this car.